Episode 3

Shump and the Shamans

Episode 3: Ridiculous Realities


Previously on Shump and the Shamans...

Read the other damn episodes if you want to know what happened previously.

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Our story continues in "The Town of Many Buildings" a small village nestled near the "Woods of the Forest" and "Mt. Steve" with a man we will call "The Sage" who is currently dreaming a dream. We take you to this dream now.

DREAMWORLD:

Sage: No! Stupid Tree! You have done a frivolous atrocity. You murderous pirate! I spit at you! The tides of the life are turning.. turning right! And right is not good! Only left turns will help this world prevail!



Townswoman: Sir.. Sir are you ok? You are screaming really weird things.

Sage: I tell you sir.

Townswoman: It's Mam.

Sage: I tell you boy! I am a prophet I see all the good and evil that goes on. It is all in my mind like a little pocketbook of world happenings. Everything! All of it! Look at my head! It's all in there you beastly man. I refute your voice in my ears. I will no longer hear your words! You hush now! I must nap to recover my stamina.



Townsperson: It's going to rain. We need to get this man to a shelter. ..You sir help me push him to the local Church. We can leave him there.



Half-Jesus: Awaken Sage. I have a task you must complete. A doing you must do. A quest that must be quested.



Sage: What is this? Another one of my visions? Damn you! I must regain my stamina.. I will vision later!

Half-Jesus: No Sage, It is I, Half-Jesus and I have need of you. You must undertake an undertaking for me.. answer a problem, solve a riddle, and execute a plan. There is much need of you. You must acquire a group, a team. With this team you must save everyone. For if you do not complete this task I set forth for you everyone will not be saved.

Sage: GO THEN! Speak what must be spoken!

Half-Jesus: If i tell you the plan now the sheer volume of knowledge i must bestow upon you would blow you up. Kaboom. You would be a handicapped handicap if I told you now. Trust me though, tonight will be a vision of what you must do first, once that task is completed more visions will happen and you will save everyone.

Sage: Fine I will vision tonight. Good-bye.

Half-Jesus: Don't forget to leave a donation on your way out.



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VISION:

Half-Jesus appears and says, "You must go and help this man save these beasts, he is on the other side of Mt. Steve in the Plains of Openness."

Sage: I must now go! For it is written in my brain that these long necked beasts' long necks have gone soft with degradation! Soft with humiliation! It is foretold in the winds of my eyes that these majestic beasts need saving. And saving will be done. Oh saving will be done.

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Meanwhile, in the middle of the woods, a tree scratches its head.